LESSON 7 - HOW?

Forgiveness is a well defined word no matter where you look at it. I've read many articles, religious messages, how to books and read poems about it but still having hard time putting this " word" in action.
It's been a year now when I put myself into a situation where I couldn't easily get out. There were too much emotions, many tears shed, many sleepless nights, lies hurts and deceit.
Two months ago, I made ammends with myself. Still blinded with lies, I realized that i can't keep hurting myself, my loveones and my God anymore. I did what I thought was the right thing to do - a choice that will forever affect my life. I worked on rehabilitating my emotions, worked on regaining my self respect back and struggled to get up and keep going . Im still in the process in completing these tasks.
Forgiving someone is undeniably the hardest thing to do in this journey. Forgiving myself is still a work in process. Im letting go. Im moving on. HOW? My efforts has failed me all the time but I know I can forgive "me" by His grace.

Lesson 6 - LOVING YOU

Loving you…

Started at early age, when I learned how to write and read,

Gave me the joy to go to school and out wit all the girls in class

for you to notice me,

Inspire me to dance, sing and do my best in everything.

Loving you…..

Cause me to cry, especially when it was time for you

to leave,

Encouraged me to express my thoughts in writing

especially in times when I missed you most.

The childhood fantasy lingers,

The dream of “us” remained in loving you.

Taught me to wait patiently the hard way,

When given the second chance, I never thought twice to

give it another try…..loving you.

Loving you….

Gave me joy, made me feel wanted,

Helped me discover the better part of me,

Made me accept you, for who you are, without reservation,

love you truly,

and always say, “I will do my best and my all!”

Loving you…

Helped me found my true friends and reconnected with

the past.

Loving you….

Fog my mind from the truth and asked,

“Who am I?”

I crossed the line, hurt, humiliated,

lied and rejected…..loving you!

Loving you….

Opened my eyes to a reality that,

there are things that are not meant to be,

That, “WE”, can never be.

It made me aware of my thoughts….

Made me accept that, there’s nothing I can do to change the past.

Loving you….

Taught me to admit my powerlessness which means,

the outcome is not in my hands.

Is not to regret about the past but hold the memories dear and to grow

and live for the future.

Hope that if my dreams won’t come true, that

they will remain as sweet memories.

Loving you….

Is forgiving myself for the wrong choices I made and from my mistakes.

Is to make this right, gain myself respect back and move on.

Will pray for your plans,

For your dreams to come true,

For good health and

Wishes you will find HER, in time.

Letting you go means……

Loving you!

IT'S TIME TO CATCH UP!

I've been busy lately. My full time job, family and many others kept me away from my blogging. I missed blogging, honestly. So, it's about time for me to catch up and share thoughts, my challenges and the lessons I learned.
I hope you're still there!